Recently, a photo of a pair of beach-goers went viral on this here interweb thingy. Many people immediately rushed to the conclusion that the photo in question was a risqué photo. I, on the other hand, don’t have a dirty mind, and I failed to see what all of the hubbub was about.

Because the photo is viewed by some as having been dirty—and because I don’t wish to offend you, dear reader—I am including a link to it rather than posting the actual picture into my blog. Click here if you please: Potentially Risqué  Photo

(If you are concerned about clicking the link and possibly seeing something you don’t wish to see, please allow me to don my former newspaperman’s hat and set the scene for you. The photo in question depicts a young couple on a beach. The man is lying on his back in a beach chair, while the woman is face down in his lap with her head and part of his lap entirely covered by a white towel. There are other people nearby. The caption reads, “Because If There’s a Towel You’re Invisible”).

Whether you’ve looked at the photo or you’re just relying on my keen journalistic recounting of the picture, please allow me to offer some possible scenarios that could assuage the concerns of those of you with dirty minds.

Who’s to say that there’s anything untoward going on under that towel? I can think of a number of legitimate things that could be going on here, including (but not limited to):

1. The young lady shown here has gotten too much sun on her face and wants to get some sun on her backside. Because they only have one beach chair, they’re making do like good scouts will do. She’s shielding her head with the towel so that she can sleep.
2. The man has a raging boil “down there,” which needs to be lanced. Rather than going up to their room and losing their premium beach spot, this young lady is lancing his John Thomas and is blocking the action with a towel so as to not gross out their fellow beach frolickers.
3. Two words: misplaced keys.
4. Just prior to this photo being snapped, the young lady shown here was toweling her hair when she tripped on the floaty thingy and fell face-first into this sleeping man’s lap.
5. This playful couple enjoys giving each other zerberts, and this male is currently receiving said playfully natured zerbert.
6. The man shown here had been previously sunbathing on a nude beach, and inadvertently, got too much sun on his who-who-dilly. The woman here is vigilantly checking for sun poisoning.
7. After a rousing game of beach Twister, the male shown here has sand wedged in places best not discussed at the dinner table. The woman shown here is a nurse who has volunteered to free Willy from his sandy binds.
8. Three words: hide the Bishop. (The St. Tropez suntan lotion bottle. Sheesh. I swear, you kids and your hormones.)
9. “Hey, honey, will you check to see if those lesions are starting to heal up?”
10. They’re posing for an exceptionally unusual Google Earth photo.